Tuesday, July 24, 2012

I am still readjusting to the Change!

Dear Friends, 
If you haven’t been keeping up (That is okay, my life is sort of like one of those shows you can pick up at any point. It’s not like watching a show where you have to know character “B’s” parents to know why character “Z” bought a tootsie roll at the 7/11) as I was saying; If you haven’t been keeping up with these blogs then I will fill you in with a word; “Transitional!” 
I realized last week how we are all in some form of transition. Event’s happen, people come and go, jobs come and go, purpose for our lives change sometimes by the hour, sometimes by the years. We are all Changing, transitioning, adjusting, and shifting. I don’t know what walks of life each person comes from, your shift may be transitioning from being a junior in high school to being a senior, It may be facing another year at a school that no longer holds the friends you used to hang out with. Transition may be getting married, or watching a child get married. Transition my be leaving the country or returning to a country. Transition for you may be a moving back in or out of your parents home. Transition may be a bit more grave such as facing a reformed future that includes radiation, chemotherapy, or some other treatment plan for illness. Transition may even be facing a reformed future without treatment because the one you loved is no longer in need because they have died. 
We all transition from the moment we open our eyes in the morning and begin to process information. We are changed by the influence of every outside stimulus we encounter. Most of us don’t like transitioning. Most of the time transitioning is our way of adjusting to a forced change in circumstances. A lot of the time we gloss it over with ideas like; “it just is what it is” “I can’t change it, so I just have to change” “It could be worse” “one day at a time” Sometimes however we are bold and willing to ask the more difficult questions and rebel against transitioning and we say things like; “I will change but I don’t have to like it” “Why do these things happen to me?” “What is the point of all this?” “How do I transition when I’m still stuck in shock?” 
Sometimes we even throw God into the mix and ask “WHY GOD!? WHY!?” This was something I faced a lot in hospital. What I realized is that in our “eternal why’s” what we are really seeking is control. Looking at the responses we see that transition is not just a way of adjusting, it is a way of regaining control. We always want to be in control of the transition that occurs in our lives. Here is what lead me to this conclusion:
Wednesday night I was spending time with my friends. One of them busted out her acoustic guitar and started playing hymns (you should see what we do on a Friday night!). In my heart was a restlessness that has always been present when I am with these friends. We are always transitioning and it is clear when we are together that it will never be for long before one of us has to go again. In the moments that we do share I often feel complete, whole, and peaceful, until I remember that these are only moments that will pass quite quickly. 
In our improvised concert we sang Hymn 849 (LSB) Praise The One Who Breaks the Darkness. In that song I was reminded that our whole lives are to be transitional. Not transitional as in something happens and we respond, but transitional in that something DID happen and therefor we are changed. Christ is the constant that we cling to in a world that throws so much at us to respond to. Christ is our game changer, our Healer, Comforter, King of Peace, and Chain breaker. When we ask “Why” of God like Job did, there isn’t anything wrong with that. What we need to realize is that the moments of transition are never so big that God aborts ship. He is right there with us. His transitions are far bigger than our own and He invites us to transition by being changed into a new Creation in HIM. Eyer writes in his book “Theology of the Cross” on how it is in our suffering that we understand to look for Christ instead of question Christ. If we didn’t recognize Christ in those moments of transition we missed the point. 
While is saddened me to reflect on the brevity of time I was to share with my friends I was reminded that just as our voices were joined as one in that wonderful hymn of reassurance, hope, and restoration, our voices would One Day be rejoined in songs of praise to The One Who Breaks the Darkness. We are liberated by the transitions that Christ offers. He gives us new for old, and frees us of the bondage of this worlds transitions. He offers the promise of fellowship with friends, a secure home in heaven, wholeness in our bodies, and a reunion with our loved ones. All the troubles this wold leave us lingering in and worried about will be wiped away for a new Glory, we wait for that day, for the GLORIOUS TRANSITION of one world to the next where we will all be made one, once and for all. 
1 Praise the One who break the darkness
With a liberating light;
Praise the One who frees the pris'ners
Turning blindness into sight.
Praise the One who preached the Gospel,
Healing ev'ry dread disease,
Calming storms, and feeding thousands
With the very Bread of peace.
2 Praise the One who blessed the children
With a strong, yet gentle word;
Praise the One who drove out demons
With the piercing two-edged sword.
Praise the one who brings cool water
To the desert's burning sand;
From this Well comes living water
Quenching thirst in ev'ry land.
3 Let us praise the Word incarnate,
Christ, who suffered in our place.
Jesus died and rose victorious
That we may know God by grace.
Let us sing for joy and gladness,
Seeing what our God has done;
Let us praise the true Redeemer,
Praise the One who makes us one.

ONE MORE THING: My blog allows me to see where people are reading from and how many people read this. I just want to say to everyone who reads this; You have NO IDEA how thankful I am for YOU! It literally brings tears to my eyes when I see that even one person has taken the time and interest to read my little theological reflections. Some of you I know, some of you I will only know when we meet face to face in heaven, but as you can probably tell from my writings; I CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT DAY!!! Thank you so much for reading!!! I am humbled! -Katie Z

Friday, July 13, 2012


I have stooped to an all time low with this blog. This blog served me well while I was in England and now most of you know I am back in the States getting ready for the next part of my journey. The past few weeks have included a lot of packing and unpacking. Now begins a more daunting packing and unpacking. As I prepare to leave home once again and consider what it is that I will need for the journey I look at all I have collected along the way. My parents are trying to reduce the amount of stuff (to put it nicely) they have, in addition they are trying to help me out financially as I prepare to go to the Dominican Republic. Therefore they decided a garage sale would be a good idea. I agree! The process is exciting, and troubling at the same time. I have been going through my own boxes of stuff from the past 27 years. I really do mean the past 27 years too! Each box I open is a reminder of a few things:

1st - The things and stuff that have accumulated over the years
2nd- The amount of work attached to things
3rd- The binding and loosing we find in being attached to things
4th- The memories we attach to things
5th- The things we attach to memories
6th- The childhood I thought I could put in a box
7th- The hopes and dreams of one day owning a home and having a family boxed up and put in storage

All the things that I have, I have allowed to serve as a map to who I was and who I want to be. I saved my dolls, toys, pillows, pictures, awards, pots, pans and anything and everything else you can think of. From cards yet to be written, to cards sent to me on my fifth birthday, I have saved so much stuff. What is more is the condition I have attempted to preserve it all in. All my dolls were returned to their boxes from which they came when I first packed them up ten years ago in Worms NE and decided it was time I grow up. I preserved a piece of my childhood for ten years without looking at it until just recently. Now as I unpack these boxes I am faced with my past, present and future. My past being the joy I found in collecting these porcelain dolls, toys figurines and anything and everything else. I can tell you who gave me each thing, where it came from, when I received it, and why I found it to be so special. I look at all my stiff and think about how I boxed it all up with the intention of perhaps either placing into a place of my own, my own home or giving them to the daughter I had hoped to have. Now, today I look at the same dolls bearing in mind that I have no child or prospective spouse, and I remember that I can't take them with me.

Most of this stuff I have not laid eyes upon for the past ten years, and yet I have held them as a person holds insurance. Knowing that they were in a box in the basement was good enough for me as a promise of what was and what is to be. Today I embrace a different truth and promise. As I reflect on "things" and "stuff" and "junk" and "boxes" of cardboard intended to lock and seal in my hopes dreams and expectations, I realized that it is as King Solomon said; "Nothing but a grasping after the wind." I am trying to solidify in my identity the fact that my home is not a place where I can take these collections with me, in heaven or on earth. I have been called into a mission where I am freed from the burden of things. It is both law and gospel. I can look at the boxes and know I have been blessed abundantly and cling to the promise that therein lies, God will continue to bless me, the evidence is not just in the box but in the intangible truths attached to those things. The reminder that there were several people who loved me and gifted me with the unnecessary luxuries of dolls and toys.

 I can also be freed from the things as I cling to the promise that whether or not I have a home, family, kids, spouse, the contents of the box does not insure this but the Gift Giver God! The God who has given me my body, soul, eyes ears and all my members, my reason and all my senses and still takes care of them. I can trust in HIM! I can cling to HIM and moth and rust cannot destroy that promise and my faith. It is also a promise I revisit on a daily basis given to me in baptism which I return to every day of my life until they place the pall over my casket. God is the author and perfecter of my faith that is not contained within cardboard boxes or things. He is not bound by my own limited dreams of owning a home and having 15 kids and being married to a strawberry/peach farmer (when I was a child I reasoned like a child and I loved strawberries, peaches and the idea of a big family- so there you go!).  God is taking me on a journey and blessed me along the way. Like my mother said as we were working on some of the boxes; "Katie, it isn't the things that matter, in the end it's the people" and I would also like to add, "it's also the Promise."

Okay so this may not be supporting the cause for which I initially wrote this but the whole point of this was to really inform everyone that I am selling my childhood. Or rather, I am having a garage sale to help with funding my mission in the DR. So if you are interested in supporting me by buying some of my old dreams in support of a new one then e-mail me for the address of this sale. Thanks to everyone for all your prayers and support thus far. The sale will be Aug 10th and 11th so if you have a college kid and you need stuff for them or you have a little girl and are looking early for Christmas or birthday gifts, or you collect dolls, or do crafts of any kind, or are looking for antiques or a good bargain, e-mail me and I will send the details of the sale to you. kziegler1985@hotmail.com