Recently my beloved (Roberto), my darling (Evangelina) and I all traveled north for a few weeks to escape the winter. After having been home a while, I have begun to reflect on the things I miss the most from my old family homestead. I’m not sure if I ever knew “soft toilet paper” quite like the toilet paper my parents had in their home for this visit. It might have been an improvement that came over the years while I was away or perhaps it was one of the many changes they made with their recent remodeling. My parents are now purchasing generic toilet paper that they buy in bulk and hold on stock in their home. It is the softest toilet paper I have ever used! My husband put it most accurately in stating; “It’s like wiping your butt with a bunny,” lovely thought.For the first few weeks of our visit, Evangelina and myself were nursing a horrible cold with runny noses, and for my little darling it included many tears. Bunny soft toilet paper came in quite handy. I blew my nose so much and yet I never got an irritated nose like I normally get for blowing my nose so much. I spent the majority of my time with wadded up balls of humid bunny soft toilet paper in my pockets and in my purse. When it came time for us to return to the south, many tears were shed. Bunny soft toilet paper was used to wipe away the many tears that were shed.
Upon arrival at our first destination on our journey south I took my daughter and husband to the family bathroom to change Evangelina’s diaper (an amenity I took advantage of as often as I could in the U.S.). As I wadded up the old diaper to throw it away I fell apart in a sobbing mess. My husband threw me a confused look and said ever so compassionately with one eyebrow raised; “Really? Now?” I grabbed the nearest absorbing material I could find, which happened to be a sturdy paper towel.
Still clinging to the old soiled diaper, I thought about how the last diaper change that my daughter had was from my mom in Nebraska. I started thinking about how my mom changed my daughters very first diapers in the hospital since I couldn’t move after having had Evangelina. I thought about how the soiled diaper in my hand would be the last diaper my mom would have put on Evangelina (the next time we get to see each other Evangelina will most likely be potty trained). Clinging to the diaper even tighter and holding myself up on the changing table I began to sob uncontrollably. A wet mess of tears and snot, I grabbed a few more paper towels and wiped away at my face. If I were an avid scrapbooker I might have given a fleeting thought to saving the soiled diaper.My loving husband didn’t know if he should laugh at me or cry with me. What he did do was say; “I don’t get it! What happened?” As I continued to wipe tears and snot away with the paper towels I wondered how I could explain the depth of sadness, regret, and ache a soiled diaper caused me and I summed it up into the following words; “I miss bunny soft toilet paper!” With those words, I showed him the rough, soggy, un-absorbent paper towel with one hand and threw the old diaper away with the other. We both laughed and hugged each other in the moment realizing that there is a lot to miss from home, and there was so much more to be thankful for.
Bunny soft toilet paper oddly reminds me that while there is a lot to miss, nothing compares to the people I miss. As I told my husband; “I know I will see them again, I don’t mourn loosing them, I mourn the moments in the year we don’t get to share together. I mourn the birthdays, the Christmases, the Easters, and the mundane Mondays with my family.” Even so, I am so thankful for every moment we did get to share with my family. They were moments that were treasured all the more for all the lost moments that we don’t get to share. I especially cherished the two Communions I was able to share with my family. Each worship was a celestial moment where I was strengthened and reminded that despite the distance, we share every Sunday when we share in the Lord’s Supper. Until we are reunited, I cling to the Lord’s promise to unite us in His Word and through His gifts. I know I will see them again. I cry for the earthly things and rejoice for the celestial promise that one day we will never have to part. “Let us praise the Word Incarnate, Christ, who suffered in our place. Jesus died and rose victorious that we may know God by grace. Let us sing for joy and gladness, seeing what our God has done; Let us praise the true Redeemer, Praise the One who makes us one.” LSB 849 (Hope Publishing Co. 1987)
